L number Two:
Leverage.
Females are
usually smaller and weaker than males. It’s a fact. I am at peace with
the knowledge that no matter how many push ups I do, or Power-Ades I
slurp down, I will never be as strong as a male of comparable size. This
is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it’s an extreme advantage to
think through a problem without resorting to or depending on brute force
to do something. Because NO ONE is strong enough to literally tackle
EVERYTHING.
Take working with
livestock. There’s this cow, see. She’s eating happily but you need her
to move to a different field. She likes THIS field.
You ask her to
move. No response.
You yell at her .
No response.
You yell at her
while waving your arms. No response.
You yell at her
while smacking her soundly on the rump. No response.
Placing a shoulder
against the cow’s shoulder, you try to push the cow.
The cow starts to
giggle.
Because Mr.
Universe is STILL not a match for your average, nay, your wimpiest cow.
You must apply
leverage.
A well-placed thumb
into the cow’s ribcage is leverage.
So is a bucket of
sweet feed.
Another personal
anecdote: filling in at a Vet’s office one day as receptionist, I
watched the two male Vets and the male owner of a mule trying to get the
mule into the stocks for an exam. They pulled. And pulled. And shouted.
And cussed some. Finally, I went out there, wrapped the lead rope around
the mule’s butt so I was, in effect, pushing AND pulling the animal at
the same time, and he quickly and quietly went into the stocks.
Find the leverage.
Embrace the
leverage.
Use the leverage.
L number Three:
Lashes.
Now this one is a
last resort, but sometimes in order to get something done, playing the
Damsel in Distress card is the way to go. You actually have a better
chance at getting help, even free help, by being female than by being
male.
If there’s another
country gal within easy distance to learn from, just ask. Most of us
love to share our knowledge with others, and are always learning new
things ourselves from OTHER women in an endless spiral of knowledge
acquisition.
If all else fails,
go on and ask a guy.
In general, guys
will help other guys do things for the promise of a good card game and
copious amounts of fermented beverage for the helpers after the job is
done. It is still a learning experience for the guy who did the asking,
but there’s a price tag attached (gambling and beer).
In assisting a
‘helpless female’, your average guy needs no further payment. He’s just
“happy to be of assistance, m’aam. Holler if you need anything else”.
You have gained the knowledge that you need to do for yourself next
time, and no hops or malts had to lose their lives for it.
Now, I’m not
advocating donning petticoats and simpering (what IS simpering,
anyway???), because if you have uprooted yourself and moved into the
country you are already an independent, strong woman. But the really
good men out there, whose mama’s raised them right, will be honored to
help you and there’s not a thing wrong with that. Plus, if you are
right over their shoulder watching and handing them tools, or hip deep
in muck along with them, you will also earn their respect.
And in the country,
that’s better than money.
I’ve never been
laughed at or looked down on by my neighbors for trying to do for
myself- in fact they’ve always been there to help and more importantly
TEACH when I’ve needed it.
The biggest
compliment I’ve ever gotten was from my 80-something-year-old neighbor.
I was helping him move some hay and at one point he squinted over the
top of the bale and said "You know, you’re pretty good help."
Nothing anyone has
ever said to me in almost 50 years has ever meant more.
