I wish I knew how many thousands of dollars ticks have cost me.
And the worst part is, they weren't even MY ticks. I used to be a rural
real estate broker in southern Missouri, you see.
Sometime I ought to tell you about how many people buy a parcel of land,
then, when they come to camp on it for the first time, find themselves
coated head to toe with ticks. This seemed especially true of those
clients hailing from A Large Western State.
I think that these dear souls in particular must immediately decide that
living in the forest means being constantly consumed by ticks, and that we
poor rubes just don’t know any better.
Well, I have to admit that, when it comes to Not Knowing Any Better on
most subjects, the Ozarks can field a team whose world-class naiveté is a
match for any region on earth. However, if there’s anything, ANYTHING
Ozarkers know, it’s ticks... and the avoidance of same.
The other day, I happened to pick up a gardening magazine and I stumbled
across an article written by a physician regarding protecting oneself from
ticks.
This, in itself was not so remarkable, but as I read on, it became
apparent that I was holding in my hands a manuscript of potential
importance to literary collectors.
Difficult as it may be comprehend, this learned author, who was apparently
getting PAID, managed to perpetuate as truth, two out of three of the Most
Common Silly Myths About Ticks that are generally held by the tick-feeding
public of today.
You can only imagine my elation. I’d been meaning to write something for
our website about ticks for months, but I was looking for an interesting
angle so as to avoid making just another dry recitation of tickfact. What
could possibly be more interesting than debunking myth, and who would be a
better target for ridicule than a doctor?
I am, of course, ever mindful of the fact that doctors often consort with
attorneys, so I don’t intend to mention any names.
Out here in the woods, we don’t know too much about leeches or liposuction
or any of those with-it new medical procedures, but gee-golly, do we know
something about TICKS! ...and I'm just itching to tell you about 'em.
Let’s start out with those Three Common Silly Myths about Ticks:
MYTH No. 1: When visiting the home of the tick, leave as little skin
exposed as possible, wearing long sleeved shirts and long pants tucked
into your socks.
I love this one. A few weeks ago, I had the luck to run into a young woman
on an river outing. Meeting this girl was like old times for me because I
started out in the real estate business catering primarily to the readers
of the original Mother Earth News. You can imagine then, my sense of deja
vu to find standing before me, what appeared to be a perfectly preserved
early-70’s-era Hippie Chick. What was especially neat was that this was
during that really hot spell we had back in July and she was wearing, I
kid you not... long underwear. I didn’t learn this because I asked, I
assure you, but because over the course of the afternoon, she happened to
mention it several times, usually in reference to the fact that she was
sweating like a hog in a sauna.
