PAGE 55 of 60

The Missouri Journal

by Mark Chenail  

AND WE BURIED HER ON HALLOWEEN

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 27, 2007

The saddest day of my life.  When we went into town tonight, I discovered a voicemail on the phone that had come earlier in the day.  It was my sister, Karen, trying to get me and I was very afraid to call back.  My dear, dear mother had passed away this afternoon around noon, our time.  Karen had tried to call so that Mom and I could talk one last time, but because of the bad signal, I hadn’t gotten the message.  When Mom had been passing away, I was outdoors in the sunshine, cutting firewood and talking to Dan while he worked on the soffits.  It was a beautiful warm day here, but oh how I wish I could have spoken to Mom one last time to tell her how much I loved her and cherished her care and opinion.  She was the best and most devoted of mothers and I can’t believe I will never hear her voice or laugh or see her smile once again.  I just sat there in the car in front of the Laundromat, sobbing and crying with Danny trying to comfort me.  We must have made quite a sight on a busy Saturday night.  The car loaded with lumber, dirty wash, dogs, and me bawling like a baby.  Mom would have appreciated the dramatic effect.  When I had calmed down, Dan and I made plans to go back home.  Dan has never been to the east coast so it will be a bit of an adventure for him, though a bit dreary.  His time with me in Missouri is a bit more than he reckoned.  We will drive back to Champaign tomorrow and then leave Monday for Connecticut.  The visitation will probably be Tuesday night and the burial on Wednesday.  Then again Wednesday is Halloween, hardly the day you want to bury your mother.  A bit too macabre even for our family, but then again Mom would have appreciated this dramatic effect, too.  We stopped to tell Steve and his family about Mom’s passing and they will look after the house while we are gone.  We will probably be gone ten days as I will need time in Champaign on the way back to settle finances and get things back on track.  I called Jon to tell him the news and Levi called in tears to wish me well.  So the new week and the month in Origanna Woods begins on a very somber note, but all and all, Mom is at peace now, no more tears or pain.  Back with Dad, Pepere and Memere, no doubt watching over us tonight and wishing she could tell us what lies ahead in that other world.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2007

Despite my sorrow, I slept decently and woke to an absolutely splendid fall day.  The weather is supposed to hold all week and hopefully will continue fine when we return.  We are so close to finishing the house, only Mom’s death could tear me away from this peaceful place.  Dan and I tidied the house,  put away our tools and materials and left Jeff and the Steves in charge.  We got out of town about noon and an uneventful trip home.  Good to see the house and Jon and Levi.  No changes worth mentioning, except that Levi’s mom has had another breakdown and she’s been institutionalized for the interim.  Probably more to the story, but I didn’t ask.  Levi has decided not to come East with me, which is probably for the best.  I talked with Karen, who told me about Mom’s last day and the final arrangements.  Mom has already been cremated so once more the actual presence of death has eluded me.  I had hoped at least to see her dear face once more, but it isn’t to be.  None of it seems very real yet and I’m a bit more concerned with the logistics of travel than with her actual demise.  Maybe once I’m there, it will seem more real to me.  Early to bed as I must get up early to go see the bankers and hopefully be on the road by noon or we won’t arrive in time.  The visitation is Tuesday night from 5-8 PM at Gilman’s Funeral Home in Putnam.  We will be cutting it very close on travel time.  Karen was able to intercept Uncle Beau and Jeannie at Penn Station in New York City.  They were just off a cruise ship and on the way to Richmond by train when Karen got in touch.  They came as quickly as they could from New York, but arrived too late for a last word with Mom.  So I am not alone in that respect.  And so to bed.

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