The Journey by C.J. Mouser
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I forced myself to wander close to Porkchop.  Whatever force that made him the big red pig that I had fed day after day was gone.  What I saw lying there was not Porkchop but meat.  Meat to feed my family.  Wholesome clean food to put in the freezer and carry us through.

There is no way to anticipate or prepare for your reaction to an event like this.  Self-reliance is not always pretty or kind.  There have been numerous pigs that have followed in Porkchop's footsteps, and I guess I can say that it never has gotten any easier to deal with, really, but there have been no more sobbing spells.  It's now a matter of course to fill the freezer, another job that must be done.  Admittedly it is done now with a little more finesse and skill, and not quite so much emotion.  We still treat our slaughter animals with respect and care and we still show them that modicum of attention to "keep them friendly." 

The truth is, I know how pork is produced on a large scale.  If I am going to eat meat, I would much rather do it my way.  Feed them, care for them, let them grow naturally at their own rate in comfortable and pleasant surroundings.  The price for this choice is that we must take these animals from the hoof to the freezer ourselves, and therein lies the rub: to kill an animal is an awesome responsibility.  If one doesn't feel a least a little uncomfortable or bad about it, then there is reason to worry.  Regardless of whether an animal is killed for food, or threatens livestock, or must be put down for health reasons it must never be done lightly, as it is the taking of a life, it is final, and there is no way to sugarcoat it.

Porkchop made the supreme sacrifice for our family.  His journey took him from birth to our freezer, and despite the sadness of his final few moments, I know in my heart that for the six months he was on this earth he lived a better quality life than he ever would have, had he ended up in a grocer's freezer.

Our journey took us from the casual meat eater, choosing our sustenance blithely from a cold case lined with little Styrofoam packages, to the wizened self-reliant self-maintaining humans, that now know what is involved in filling those cases.  Porkchop reminded us that we chose this life, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and taught us that we should always be prepared to do that which we would ask others to do on our behalf, because the day may come when we may be asked to do exactly that.  As it did with Porkchop.

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